Archives for category: at work

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Well its been a day. An enormous decision sits on my shoulders, I know I should try to unwind, but my thoughts constantly wander back to this potentially life changing decision.

Last week I took a leap, and expressed my interest in a new position at work. It’s a sales position, and I would earn commission on top of the salary I’m currently living on. The possibilities are endless, the workload, and drive required are immense. In a year, I could earn enough commission to buy a house. But the stakes are high as well.

If I don’t meet my quota, I’ve got a good chance of losing my place within the company. Is the risk worth the reward? Or do I continue to work under an old classmate, who runs hot and cold without warning? I’ve got support from my current colleagues, and a recommendation from all of my colleagues who currently sit on the sales team. It seems like a fabulous opportunity and it is. But soon the moment will arrive where I’m asked yes or no, do you want to take the leap? How excruciating it is to be certain about anything.

For example, a couple that AJ went to school with recently confessed that things just weren’t working out. We attended their wedding less than a year and a half ago… I’m sure on their wedding day they were certain that they were making the right decision, promising to be there in sickness and in health… And until things got too tough, apparently.

Not that I should compare my career to a marriage, but each of us only gets a short time on this earth, and as a result there’s an intense pressure to make all the right choices. How dreadful, and what an absolute waste of time to choose poorly. But to choose to play it safe could be the ultimate failure, and result in forgoing the greatest successes.

For tonight at least, I’m going to try to enjoy the chili I’ve had bubbling on the stove, and indulge in one more glass of wine.

Until Later,

Jessa Jay

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So I’ve come to semi belong in the “office clique”. This means things like going out for happy hour on Fridays, the occasional lunch date & having others to commiserate with on a rough day. But there’s always that strange disconnect with office mates-they are real people, but in my mind, they exist only within the walls of the of the online journal aggregator that we work for. Their adventures outside of the office weren’t something I’d ever considered, and really, it had been just fine that way. I liked knowing my friends through their various abilities-account coordination, tech support, email marketing.

But one day all of that changed. Karen decided to bridge the gap and take a horrifying leap of trust.

“Can I tell you something you can never tell anyone else?” she says, as we drunkenly stand outside the local margarita joint, Karen flicking her cigarette into the puddles from that day’s rain.

“Of course.”

“You know Derrick, right?”

Of course I do- he is Karen’s boss, and an all around nice guy. We tease Karen often about Derrick, the two get along like two peas in a pod. Derrick’s name had been coming up more frequently in our conversations recently, so despite his wife and two kids, (and despite Karen’s 6 year, live-in relationship) it had become pretty obvious that Karen might’ve had a bit of a crush. But I was not prepared for what Karen had to say next.

“I know I’ve been joking around about Derrick-but what if I told you something had already happened?”

I think I just nodded, I was pretty shocked, and for once I was completely speechless.

“I gave him a blow job, in the single restroom at work.”

Now what in the fuck was I supposed to do with that tidbit of information?! My version of Karen in tech support was completely shattered, and in her place stood a secretive, sultry adulterer.

“Oh my god!”, I said, unable to hide my complete shock. She just smirked and nodded, giving her spent cigarette a flick, and turning to head back inside.

So now, I know about it, and I can’t un-know about it. In fact Karen had taken it a step farther later on that night, saying that she wanted to get Derrick alone in the hotel room she’d booked for our upcoming company holiday party. Personally I wasn’t amped enough on the party to book a room and stay, but I could certainly understand Karen’s motivations.

Additionally, Karen’s cube isn’t far from mine, so now each time I hear giggling behind the divider my mind treats me to an image of Karen on her knees in the single bathroom with the ugly tile.

But I guess anyone whose ever lived in the kind of glass house where Karen’s currently residing, shouldn’t really dare to throw any stones.

Until Later,

Jessa Jay

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