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I think as I grow older, quirks about my personality become more apparent to me. Especially relative to my relationships, those vast and tenuous ties I have to those I surround myself with.

One thing I’ve really noticed late!y is my need for control. For schedules to be exact and agreed upon, for rules to be set and followed. Even the lack of a plan is planned; for example- last Sunday the name of the game was staying home and not scheduling anything that could turn into an obligation, and yet deviation from that “un-plan” would have met with some resistance from me. This realization does shed some light on past fixations-some issues with weight, food and exercise that I was always told were rooted in control, or lack thereof, I suppose. It makes more sense now than it did then.

Even at this very moment I am overly satisfied with the plan to deliver AJ to the airport tomorrow morning, and fetch him upon his return on Friday night. Since I will be behind the wheel, I will be effectively in control, and not depending, or waiting on someone else to act.

Little by little I am understanding how important it is to recognize your own idiosyncrasies, to better understand how to function and excel in the world around you. In large part, I owe these little introspective gems to AJ. These self realizations are a direct result of learning and growing together. Not only do I learn more about him each day, but I learn more about me too.

How we manage to function, what with his free spirited nature, and penchant for floating whichever way the wind blows him, is another story. We’re a study in balance, that’s for sure.

Until Later,

Jessa Jay

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